Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Winter Bathing

I just have one quick, simple question:

Should I be required to winter-bathe?

And if so, to what end? Take my word for it - I smell as fresh as a daisy!
Yet, these people make such a fuss over this bathing thing.

And even go as far as to change my pillow cases and sheets! (The ones located on the bed that I allow them to share with me.)
Let me tell you, it has been downright cold here!

When I get a bath, I purposely chatter my teeth, very loudly, in order to make a point. Yet, how slow they seem to be catching on. Like, not at all.

However, the side benefit of teeth chattering is that my dad sits with me on the bed and cuddles to "keep me warm" while I am drying.

Hah!

He has no idea that I'm not really that cold!

Well, I'm a little cold.... and wet...

(And simply humiliated that I smell like a cheap bottle of toilet water....)


The other day when I least suspected it, and thought he was picking up the leash for us to take our morning walk, instead my dad walked me right down the hall and into that bathroom. I would post a picture, but my mom wasn't home. She was at a place called work. Now, had dad tried to take me, the leash and the camera, I surely could have dumped his skinny butt in the tub, taken that camera away from him and ran off with Jelly (the cute little girl doggie). Every time we walk past her fence and I see her brown fur gleaming in the sunlight, I...

Digress...

What do you want to bet that Jelly isn't subjected to winter bathing?

See, if the birds don't want to take a bath... guess what? They don't have to! They get to do this thing called choice and empowerment. They get to choose if they feel they need a bath.

How's this: I choose no baths ever, and freshly cooked bacon for my breakfast each day!

Oh, and a professional pillow-fluffer?

Mandatory 30 minutes of belly rubs a night!
So, I'm not really asking much of you all - my friends - out there in blog world.. I simply need someone to tell me exactly how to shut off the water in the house! Perfect solution!
I have all my own tools, but dang-it-all if they haven't hidden the ladder from me!

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5 comments:

Arlene said...

Barney we didn't know that you had an eye for the gals. Debbie huh? Well that's one reason to smell good. :-)

Barney sure can fluff up a story can't he.

louara said...

Barney,
I think that Debbie appreciates your bathing and is more apt to hang out with you if you look and smell good! Just makes good sense to me.
Ask you Dad if he has what is called a "blowdryer" it is this really neat thing that blows warm air and it will dry you off alot faster and it feels good too.
No one, not even dogs like the smell of wet dogs. Good luck Barney and I must say you are looking good!

Robin said...

Thank you for your advice, Loura - and also wondering - can this blowdryer thing you mention be used to shut the water off to the house?

I asked Debbie, and actually she says you are right... that she likes me better after a bath. I guess you know a lot about these sorts of things, Loura!! :D


Barney

louara said...

No don't touch the water with the blowdryer Barney. Water and electricity don't mix. You could cause an explosion! You don't really want to shut off the water do you? Just think how thristy you'll get and how grumby Mom and Dad will be if they can't have any coffee in the morning. Leaving the water on Barney is my best advice to you.

Robin said...

Gosh, Loura - you ARE smart! I know what you mean about the 'coffee' thing... my mom and dad both (between me and you) seem to have a rather serious problem with an addiction to coffee (if you ask me)...

I will instead take your advice and have my dad use that machine to dry off my fur! Thanks again!

Barney

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