Wednesday, April 22, 2009

There Are No Kings Here!

I 'see' Barney has been talking about me behind my wing in his blog entries. As you might imagine, his descriptions of our encounters are not exactly accurate... and to think this sort of trash talk is from a dog who couldn't have passed third grade with a full time tutor!

He thinks I cannot read. Obviously, he is not aware that dolphins are nearly as intelligent as birds!

Not to dissuade you from reading Barney's Blog entries; they are an effective tool for insomniacs. But it must be obvious to you that he does have a bit of a tendency to be a drama-llama. It comes from the basset hound side of the family.

(For the record, when I backed him up against the wall to let him know which Diva runs this household, I left no marks.)

Leaving no marks takes true talent. You see, a parrot can determine exactly how hard to press in order to 'im'press. Yes, the same beak we use to peel the skin off a Spanish peanut can be used to break the shell of a walnut! (You can bet we know exactly how much pressure to exert to make the desired 'point'.)

Suffice to say, this Johnny-Come-Lately now knows there are no kings around here... only The Diva).

My companion is not quite as easy to control, but I still have her wrapped under my pinky-talon. When she is going to leave the room, I have trained her to give me a nut so I don't follow her (as I am busy eating the nut). All I need to do is sit on my swing. Was this not clever of me? I get one every time she leaves, even if I wasn't thinking of following! My favorites are English walnuts and authentic Georgia pecans. I detest hazelnuts; and I won't touch a peanut or an almond with a ten foot feather. Give them to Sammy... Sammy will eat them... he'll eat anything!

So, here's how it works: If I am in my room alone (well, with Sammy and Strider), I have everything I need in my Fort. I hang out there, and never roam around. Now, occasionally I will lap the room, sometimes several times in a row, and I always land back in my Fort. Even though I have quite a wing span, the papers on the floor of the Fort do not even rustle when I fly around! I have so many things to do, areas to play, and wood to chew that I am quite content in the Fort. It is like a mall for birds! Even the sisal rope that covers my main pole serves a purpose. I chew on it too, and can use it to polish my beak!

If she (Robin) comes in the room, I will climb down the ladder and start... you know... looking around a little. I check under the bed. Every day I wonder what is under there. Every day I check. As it turns out, every day the same thing is under the bed; nothing. But it is always good to check anyway.

I like to play in the bookshelves, although it rather defeats the purpose when she removes the books. I also enjoy investigating the inside of her slippers. But if she walks out of the room, I make a bee-line for my ladder, sometimes even flying! I make it my business to be about 'Fort Business' when she is not around. And if I am on my swing before she walks out, I get a piece of nut!

If she is going to be right back, she will say, "I'll be right back". That could mean anything from 2 seconds to 10 minutes. If I stay stuck to my spot, on the swing, I get another nut when she returns! Sweet, huh?!

If she says, "I'll be back later", then there's no telling. That means, settle in, enjoy the music, take a nap, chew some wood, throw bottle caps all over the floor, scream until the other two birds beg me to stop, and create a mess if possible! Until her husband (the hall monitor) walks in, it's pretty much a bird's world!

The minute he arrives, we all fall silent. This seems to confuse him, and then he leaves. (Actually, if I take a moment to ponder his overall behavior, I would have to say that he looks confused most of the time.)

As you can see in this typical photo of the bird room floor at days' end, clearly this is no place for a dog! Why, he could choke on these small plastic parts!


No worries, though; after our little chit-chat in the corner of the room, well, I repeat myself: there are no kings around here, just sweet littl' me!

~ The Diva ~


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